In March of 2011 I was invited to attend my very first blogging event as a contributor to a local blog. The blogging event was at a fancy pants mall in south Orange County to promote their Easter activities. I considered not going because I thought driving to south Orange County with two kids was too difficult. That and I was very nervous about going to a function on behalf of and representing someone else. But I went anyway and I was eager with anticipation to meet other bloggers. In person. That was mind boggling to me. When I started blogging in 2006 no one met up in person, those “friends” in the computer that talked about their lives stayed in the computer and never met IRL. But this was different because I wasn’t going on behalf of my own dormant blog, I was going as a contributor to another blog. And so I went.
I dressed the best I could, I fussed over the kids hair and outfits and we arrived to the event. I stood there with no greeting and no clear direction of which way I was supposed to go. I fumbled with my huge, ugly diaper bag and my dirty stroller while my 4 year old son asked me what we were doing and why we were just standing there. Finally I saw a woman dressed in work attire speaking to a woman with children and I approached them.
“Hello!” I said, smiling ear-to-ear happy and eager to make blogging friends. Both women stopped their conversation and stared at me. The women in work attire said “can I help y o u ?” I said “Yes! I am here for the spring time event for xxx!” There was silence.
“Ohh” they said laughing. Then they both in synchronization looked me up and down. I felt judged.
So I walked away. I did the best I could to enjoy the activities with my kids. I did the best I could to do the job I was asked to do. After the Easter bunny and crafts there was supposed to be a lunch at a cafe around the mall corner. I had no idea where I was going so I followed a few of the bloggers (one of the women I approached initially and her friend) to the cafe. As we were walking they kept turning their heads around and giggling at me. So I stopped and turned around and found a map to follow instead. Turns out they were headed to the bathroom and instead of saying “we’re going to the bathroom! the cafe is the other way!” they just chuckled at me instead.
I went to the cafe and it was awkward. No one talked to each other, there was no direction or leadership. It was strange. And I felt strange. So I bounced.
In the car my eyes welled up. My son asked me why he didn’t get to eat. We bought lunch and ate it in the car on the long ride home.
Those of you that know me know that I have the self confidence and personality of a steel lion. I am literally the strongest, most amazing person I know (stop laughing). So that whole first blogging event experience was a very strange one for me. Strange because I let these entitled women make me feel inferior and strange that I cried. I never cry.
On the car ride home in between quiet sobs and stuffing hamburger in my mouth I consoled myself by saying that I would find my “blogging tribe” and that not only would I be invited to events for my own blog, but I would go to these events and have my own blogging friends there that weren’t snobby and rude as these women were. I made myself a promise that things would be better.
I was right.
Not only do I get invited to events bigger and better than I ever thought possible for my own blog, more importantly I have the best friends that blog in the world. Had I not gone to that awkward spring time mall event I would have never known how amazing events with real friends can be.
