This week’s “Confessions Friday” guest post comes to us from Jamie Gall from Minnesota Girl transplanted into LA. She is an amazing writer and photographer and I am honored to have her guest post. This week’s confession is honest, real and quite sincerely-endearing. Jamie is the kind of blogger that makes a blogging community dynamic and interesting. There is nothing more that I love than different perspectives. So without further ado, I present to you Jamie Gall’s confession:
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I’m 30 and not a mother!
First, I want to thank Desiree for having me Guest post on her blog. To be honest, this is my first guest post, and I’m so completely honored to be a part of this. I’m a bit nervous, but am also excited to share a bit of myself with all of you.
It’s funny. While in my 20’s it didn’t bother me at all. I was okay with spending the time to figure out who I was, and what I needed out of life, and start down a career path.
But the moment I turned 30, a month ago, my biological clock started ticking. I realize I’m running out of time. The next few years are truly my pivotal point in life. It’s the point where I decide if we’re going to start a family, or we’re going to go down the path of no children.
At this point we still are undecided. However, now that my biological clock is ticking, and so many of my friends, and all of you lovely ladies I meet throughout the social media world have children of their own, I’m left asking myself, “Am I missing out?” “What’s wrong with me that I haven’t had children yet?” “What do I have in common with other women now if I don’t have a child?” I’m sure having social anxiety doesn’t help with this entire process either 😉
It’s those moments where I go through life and the cute kid pictures are standing out to me even more, where as I read the stories of others with their children I realize I may regret not having children if we do decide to go down this path.
But yet, there is a part of me that constantly feels as if I’m not ready, where I feel as if I’ll never be ready, as if part of me truly believes I’m not fit to be a parent. But then I shake my head, I know I’m capable, I know I’d have my good days, and those moments where I’d want to pull my hair out, but then in that moment be reminded what was truly important in life, the love ones around me.
I know, in time, the decision will be made. And when that decision comes, we will both be at peace with it. However, for now, we’re still undecided, and the days keep going by as I grow older and older. Then again, I am only 30 😉
Jamie Gall is 30 years old and teetering on a big life decision. Kids or no kids? I’m looking forward to reading her blog daily and following her along on her life’s journey. Jamie Gall blogs at Minnesota Girl transplanted into LA. You can find her on Twitter too.
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“Confessions Friday” is a series that is all about getting that nagging guilt off your chest whether it be a doosey or something small for the purpose of relating to one another without judgement or criticism. We’re all human and for Cheese sake we’re not perfect.
If you would like to confess something Email me at: DesireeEaglin@aol.com
Hi!
The best idea someone gave me is that if you wait till you’re ready- till you think you’re financially ready, in the right house, etc. you’ll never be ready!
Maybe you need to be asking yourself, not if you’re ready to have kids but if you WANT kids.
And I know some couples that do not have kids, including my great aunt and uncle, who have had a very happy life doting on nieces and nephews.
Whatever the choice, there are so many people like you!
I completely agree with MrsWndr – decide if you really WANT them at all. I didn’t get married until I was 32 and didn’t have my first child until I was 34 so don’t feel like time is running out. My cousin had her first child at 40. Kids aren’t for everybody but I always knew for sure that I wanted them. Don’t do it because you feel peer pressure to do so.
I had that same situation when I was 25… one year later, I was pregnant (because that’s what we wanted…) . It is a big decision and it is totally life changing… it’s a good thing to ask yourself if that’s really what you want and like you said, you’re only 30! You have time to think about it!!!!!
You can never be fully prepared for children. The timing will never feel right, but you just have to do it… literally.
There are so many women who feel exactly the same way.
I think having kids is a personal decision, one to be made with your heart. When we think it over we sometimes over analyze. I know that happens with me because tend to overanalyze in fear of deciding. Just if I may give you some insight, being a parent is wonderful and I wouldn’t change it for the world BUT it is also a big responsibility. I have friends that gave into the pressure and it did work out for them, yet still sometimes they feel this is not what their heart truly wanted. They are great moms, but deep down inside they feel they miss being independent.
Decide with your heart, because whatever you choose should make YOU happy and complete. 😉
If you think about having children you will never really be ready, however, when that bundle is here – you will be amazed at how ready you actually are.
Great post! 30 is the perfect age to start a family if that’s what you choose. You’ve gained so much experience and knowledge that it would serve you well as a mom. I was married at 29 had my first child at 31 and now I’m 37 with 3 kids! No one is a perfect mom and I’m still learning. You gradually adjust to your loss of independence and to sacrificing. Babies are adorable, but guess what? 6 year olds talk back and challenge your authority. I hear teens are worse! (Too late to turn back now).
Good luck!
Yes deciding when to have children is a big life decision but also don’t forget to enjoy your time now. If & when you do decide to have kids you’ll never get this back again.
Thanks for all the wonderful comments everyone. I think it’ll be another 3 years, but I do see children in my future… just getting to 30 and that biological tick ticking was making me go a bit crazy this last month =)
Thanks for reading and sharing and so much more =)
Sounds like you do see children in your future and being 30 you still have many years to start having a family. I know so many moms that started having their children in mid and late 30’s and it was the perfect time for them….it’s all about when you are ready….I had my second one at 34 and hubby was 45. Our kids keep us young and constantly moving which is a great thing….
I also know many moms who have kids into their 40’s. Make sure you’re enjoying your time now and realize that you will never be entirely ready. It just kinda happens that you *are* ready once that baby is on it’s way. At least that’s how it was with me 😉
I had my first son when I was 30 and my last when I was 38. So its not too late. the only regret is have the last so far from the first.
I don’t have kids either— so I can’t speak about the topic with any knowledge. But I do appreciate the personal conflict! I have been there myself!