Confession Friday – Elle from SeeMomWork

“Member of the Inhumane Society”

After writing a guest post for me on my blog: SeeMomWorkBlog, Desiree asked if I would be interested in writing something for her blog as well. Of course I immediately said, “Yes!” Then she told me it was to be a confession for her new series “Confessions Friday”. Hmmm….what should I confess? Which dirty little secret should I expose? So many secrets, so little time…
Should I talk about my kleptomaniac adventures or how I am a reformed relationship junkie? How about my dysfunctional family or my angry feelings towards my husband and children? Nah, too boring….

Let’s just start with a relatively benign confession: I don’t like dogs.
There, I said it.

Now bring on the guilt, shame and perceived judgment.

Let me just say that I used to like dogs, but I’m becoming increasingly intolerant…

Scenario 1) I have two sets of aunts/uncles that have an obsession with Dachshunds – those little wiener dogs. They’re an okay breed, but I don’t see the attraction. Ever since I can remember, they’ve each had two or three of them at any given time. Family gatherings can become annoying when there are so many little dogs barking, zipping around and their respective parents shouting at them to stop it. They’ve never been trained nor have they been exposed to children, so it’s an absolute circus when we’re visiting.

Scenario 2) My mom has suddenly decided to become an animal hoarder, as she has three Chihuahuas now. As if one wasn’t enough! I actually liked her original Chihuahua, but now with three, they are completely underfoot. And the sound of all those little untrimmed toenails clicking on the floor is maddening.

Scenario 3) We have a Saint Bernard that is absolutely adorable. A few years ago, we spent a lot of time researching breeds, temperaments and finding just the right one for two working parents of small children. She was perfect for us because she is fairly low maintenance, sweet natured and good with children. She sleeps the majority of the day away. The downside of owning such a large breed dog is that she has become very stinky. She also has a pout on her face all day at home with me. She’s been refusing food lately unless it’s made to her liking. She gets extremely excited to see my husband, but just gives me cursory, disdainful glances throughout the entire day.
I’m starting to resent her as another mouth to feed, expense and chore. That makes me feel guilty since I was the one who really wanted to get a dog in the first place. I thought the hair shedding wouldn’t bother me or the other breed idiosyncrasies. But it is. I really hate how she worships my husband and acts bitchy with me. I don’t like how she is turning the tan carpets dark brown with her 170 pound rumpus. Her snoring is absolutely out of control. It’s ridiculous how my husband rolls around on the floor with her like they’re from the same litter. Finding hair in my food is nasty too. The way she bum-rushes towards the kitchen table when we’re eating to sniff it out is so disgusting; her nostrils are the size of my eyeballs.
Having a dog at this point in my life is not the best experience. It affects our daily schedule and takes away from the assistance I might receive from my husband. Instead of helping me feed, bathe and put the kids to bed, he’s out walking the dog since she can’t possibly wait to exercise until after they’re in bed.
She continues to have ear infections because we don’t clean her ears regularly and has had other health issues too. Every time she has to see the vet, we can expect to spend a pretty penny. The last visit was close to a grand for some blood tests, ultrasound and antibiotics. We can’t even spay her because there is something wrong with her kidneys so she can’t be sedated. So every time she goes into heat, she acts even more melodramatic.
Sometimes I let my mind consider how much longer she has to live… That sounds so bad. Having negative thoughts towards animals seems inhumane. Please forgive me.
Deep down I really care about her (dare I say ‘love’). I am just tired and grouchy and sick of taking care of little people and pets. I often fantasize about the simplicity of a studio apartment with the company of just one cat.

Read more of Elle’s disgruntled ramblings at SeeMomWorkBlog where complaining is always fun.

Do you want to be a part of the “Confessions Friday” series on Sarcastic, Funny and Brutally Honest? Anyone is free to join! You’ll be surprised at how freeing it feels to confess something! You can email me at: DesireeEaglin@aol.com

Stay tuned, next week Megan from Sunshine Wonderland will be on!