Sometimes as things are happening you don’t fully realize how important they are until much, much later.
I started a pregnancy journal type blog in 2006 before my first son was born, then it turned into a family blog and then a personal blog. But life got in the way and I stopped blogging in 2009 after we purchased our first home. To be honest I felt I didn’t have enough happening in my life that was interesting enough to write about. Saying that sounds silly but it is true – my life was somewhat dull and I knew it.
In late 2010, while wasting time on facebook I happened upon a blog contributing opportunity and I knew immediately I had to take that chance. That contributorship sent me to fun places to do new things with the kids and I absolutely loved it. One day I had the opportunity to go to Hollywood to see a preview of the new Cirque show at the Dolby Theater. But it was adults only.
I was terrified.
At that point in my life I never did anything alone. I was always with my children, I didn’t go out without them. And I certainly never, ever went to Los Angeles or Hollywood.
Ever.
LA seemed like a far away foreign planet in which I didn’t belong. A place meant for people far more interesting and sophisticated than I. But I knew I wanted the opportunity…and so I went.
I sat by myself in the plush, red theater seat. My body tense with stress, with my teeth clenched all while surrounded by important looking business suit type reporters. I took my pictures as my hands shook and my brain silently screamed questioning what the jello I was doing there.
I was terrified and it was invigorating.
On the drive home I felt a sense of empowerment. The feeling surged adrenaline through me like I had just accomplished something I had been waiting for my whole life.
Perhaps it was the start of something. Perhaps it was independence. Perhaps it was my life… my life starting. Perhaps this was my chance.
And it was.
That anxiety happens even when you’ve been there done that a million times. You fit right in.