I’m going to admit to you all that I used to be one of those “judgmental moms”. You know the ones-that hang out in judgemental groups on the sidelines of the playground and judge everyone else’s mothering abilities? The ones that appear perfect and together and have all their sh*t in order? Yeah, those ones. I used to be one.
Well, not anymore.
When my son was a baby, I thought I had it rough. I used to complain about how difficult it was to be a mom. I judged other moms a lot. Back then, I figured that if I had what I had labeled a “difficult” baby but he still never ran into the street or threw a tantrum in the middle of Vons, that it must be their parenting skills that made horrid children and not the actual children themselves. I judged those moms for not having control over their children’s disobedient behavior. I patted myself on the back and said many times:
“Thank God I don’t have a kid like that”
I know different now.
Everything that I prided myself on for my awesome parenting skills was not my doing. It was in fact, just a stroke of luck.
My daughter is a nightmare.
A complete, and utter nightmare.
You know those kids that can’t ask for something without a whining cry? That’s her.
You know those kids that go into a store, fling everything off the shelves that are at their level and bite into anything they can sink their teeth into? That’s her.
You know those kids that cry at the drop of a hat? That’s her.
You know those kids that thrash around while being changed? That’s her.
You know those kids that bite? That’s her.
You know those kids that hit? That’s her.
You know those kids that spit? That’s her.
You know those kids that run into the street while you’ve got your arms full of groceries? That’s her.
You know those kids that fling themselves onto the floor in a tantrum? That’s her.
You know those kids that undress themselves at every opportunity and show the world what God gave them? That’s her.
You know those kids that refuse to pee anywhere but on the carpet? That’s her.
You know those messy eaters that throw food? That’s her.
You know those kids that run the opposite way when you call them? That’s her.
You know those kids that act like they can’t hear? That’s her.
You know those kids that scream inside the car, or the bathtub, or the middle of the store, or at church? That’s her.
My son was never any of those things. My daughter is all of those things and more.
She is the kind of child that when I saw while my son was a baby, I stayed away from. She’s the kind of child whose mothers I judged. She is everything I didn’t wish for.
But she also gave me so much more. She gave me a sense of womanhood and a sense of empowerment. I had to change, I had to make myself better and I had to cut the bullsh*t out of my life to become a responsible, mature model for my daughter. The day she was born, I had a new perspective on life. I had to be the best me I could be so that she could grow up to be the best She, she could be.
So, sure she’s a strong-willed, emotional, loud, energetic, disobedient nightmare. But I love her…because she made me-Me.
It is lovely to read that I am not the only one… My twins are 2 and in the middle of the horrid battles of will. I used to think I was such a good parent, but suddenly, one day, I turned into the mothers I used to think were doing a bad job since they couldn´t control their children. But it gives me a chance to become better. Your daughter is beautiful, by the way.
Thank you!!
Do not worry – you are not alone. I have a boy just like her.
Lets get them together. Maybe they’ll balance each other out. haha
I was the easy child and my brother was also a lil’ nightmare.
My son? Easy and mellow. It makes me consider stopping at one kid, knowing that the next one is probably doomed to be a pain in the butt 😉
I didn’t think having a pain in the butt would happen to me. I thought I was a better mother than that. I thought wrong. In your case, I would just assume your 2nd will be a pain in the butt and just brace yourself for it. ha!
I have one of those. My only “biological” child is way harder to raise then all 3 of my stepchildren were put together at the same ages!!!! Oy! I’m so with ya girl! Ever whiny, screaming, crying, stubborn, difficult inch of the way! 😉